Death Note: The Hangover
by CalibornIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: Days before L and Light's wedding, L and the Wammy boys throw a bachelor party in Vegas. What happens when L goes missing and the boys have no memory of what happened? Sort of AU. M for swearing and some suggestive themes


**A/N: This story was made for entertainment XD. Near is also very AU and that is for comedic purposes. I hope you find this as hilarious as me and my friends do. Also, shout out to MYcookies because she has nice shoes, brah. Also, shout out to Cool070 for helping me write this story. Also, the ages are Mello - 15 Matt - 15 and Near - 12. Yes, I am aware they are too young to drink but I don't care.**

L and Light's wedding was only a couple days away. L and Light were having separate bachelor parties, Light's party staying in Japan and L's party going to Vegas. L didn't want this party in the first place but Mello had already planned it so he had to go. L had packed his things and gotten to the airport, getting on the plane.

Many hours later, L arrived in Las Vegas. He got his baggage and walked through the airport, looking for the group. Just up ahead he thought he could hear people yelling. He saw a white haired kid, a leather clad... Stripper? Maybe... And someone wearing stripes with a very ugly vest. L walked over to them just as Matt yelled, "YOU OWN MORE THAN JUST LEATHER!"

"No I don't! What do you think I should wear then?!" Mello yelled back.

"I don't know! A dress?!"

"I AM NOT A GIRL!" Mello was in a rage, his face red. Near just stood there, twirling his hair with a bored expression. Mello had looked up and saw L. "Oh, hello! Congratulations on getting married! I hear he's a giant douche bag."

"Ignore Mello. He's PMSing," Matt said.

"I AM NOT!"

"Well, are we sure you're of the male gender?" Near said in a monotone voice.

"Want me to pull down my pants?!" Mello asked.

"No, Mello. Are you even wearing underwear?!" Matt asked.

"Maybe..."

"Mello, don't be a whore," Near said.

"NEAR!" Mello and Matt shouted.

"Can we go now. I'm very tired," L said, feeling uncomfortable. They all went to the car, Mello driving, Matt in the passengers seat, and Near and L in the back. Mello held Matt's hand as he drove to the hotel.

"Woo! Vegas!" Matt shouted. Mello cheered along with him.

L watched Near continue to twirl his hair. Near was sort of weird, maybe he was special or something. L just wanted to get to the hotel. The sooner they got there, the sooner they could go home. The Vegas lights were flashing all around them and Near still was unamused. L sighed and then was happy once they started to stop.

Mello gave the valet a tip. "Keys are in the ignition."

"Alright. Enjoy your stay, miss." The valet smiled at them all

Mello grunted, growing red again. "I AM A MAN YOU DOUCHE BAG!"

"Mello! Calm down!" Matt said.

"Hey, control your wife," the valet said.

Mello was about to scream until Matt dragged him into the hotel, L and Near behind them.

L, Near, Mello, and Matt all walked up to the counter. Matt talked to the woman and checked into their hotel.

"We hope you enjoy your stay. Oh, is this your son?" the woman at the counter asked, pointing to Near.

"What?! EW! THAT SHEEP?!" Mello yelled.

"Well, he does look like... Eight years old," Matt said. The woman, looking embarrassed, just handed them the room key. They all got into the elevator and up to the top floor where their room was.

Mello opened the door and ran in. "THIS ROOM IS SO BITCHIN'!" he yelled.

"I have to agree with Mello, this room is in the category of "Bitchin'." Maybe even greater," Near said.

"NEAR!" Matt and Mello yelled.

L just wanted to take a nap, but he knew the three he was with wouldn't let him.

"This calls for shots!" Matt said.

"OH YEAH! SHOTS!" Mello yelled. There was a minibar in the room so Mello went to go find alcohol and shot glasses.

The four had gone up on the roof, a glass in their hand.

"This calls for a toast!" Near said.

"Why should we let you toast?" Mello asked.

"Because, I'm number one."

Mello was too offended to say anything else so Near spoke up. "Marriage is a wonderful time in someone's life. Love is important for some people. In my case, knowledge is much more important but love is good too. I never thought you would be gay, L. Mello I knew since he looks like a prostitute but you, well, I guess you never really know. But, toast to Vegas and toast to L," Near said, staying in a bored tone the entire time.

No one knew what to say. Mello was fuming from the prostitute remark, Matt was trying not to laugh, and L felt awkward. "Toast..." the three said, clinging their glasses. They all drank, L really regretting this.


End file.
